a new day
raise your hand if you’re a pessimist
sign up to be critiqued
solve these matrices and these
system of equations that
make my brain rotate in a way
that its not been made to rotate.
Like the mocha sauce pumper at work
when I have to take apart the body
at the end of each day
The metal pieces will only fit back together
if I put them back just right. precise.
The slivers of metal fit like a puzzle
screwed tightly next to one another
and it’s like my brain on this new day
this new Monday.
Tightly compressed as I try to comprehend
what it is these directions say to do
I re-read, blink back mucus and try again.
It makes my brain hurt.
And the air outside is silent today,
chilled and broken, like it’s lost a fight,
it hides somewhere in embarrassment,
we walk, run, skip and talk through it
like it’s not even there.

It’s a new day,
raise your hand if you’re a pessimist.
I’ll search for light today
as I put my apron on for work,
I will feel every sensation in my body,
every taste in my mouth
the peanut butter from lunch, toothpaste, vanilla wafers.
Watch people come and go, waste my hours- -
but I’ll come to a halt with my continuous movements-
and realize
I am alive.
and I’ll get through this.
My heart will keep beating;
my blood will keep pumping through my veins;
my hair will keep sprouting.
And now I’m smiling,
because I can see the sun setting through the glass.
Orange and thick, like a melted crayon,
it drips.
It falls onto the people below
their skeletons and moving joints
we walk through doors, lift up our forks,
move our pencils.
Almost endlessly…
is it beautiful or sickening?